Self Defense

Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month

Valentine’s Day is coming up - a day where lovers declare their love for one another with sentimental cards, flowers, candy, and other expressions of affection. 

It’s also Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention month.

Research shows that one in four women have reported that they have been physically abused by their husband or their boyfriend at some point in their lives. That means that you probably know someone who is dealing with this problem. Relationship abuse is one of the most prevalent causes of injury to women, not only sending thousands of women to emergency rooms for physical trauma, but also causing emotional trauma as well.

It affects everyone an abused woman knows, her friends, co-workers, and her entire family, including children, even if they are not there to witness the actual abuse. It may seem like once the abuse occurs, it is over and done with, but that’s not the case. Bruises linger, prompting questions from co-workers and family members. The way a woman jumps when she receives a call from the guy who “loves” her but is hurting her is not something a woman can easily hide.

How do you know there’s abuse going on in a relationship? Certainly, every relationship has its ups and downs. Every relationship has periods where there is tension. What makes it violent is the pattern. Violence can often start as a criticism here or there, but can escalate into daily put-downs and insults, to shoving and grabbing, to isolation, to threats of death, to death itself. The key word here is escalate.

Defending your emotional boundaries is just as important as defending your physical boundaries. To be safe, create a relationship filter, allowing in people whose behavior is acceptable to you and keeping out people who are likely to hurt you. Your emotional boundary should be based on what is comfortable for you alone, and should not be based on any one else’s ideas. And comfortable does not mean accepting abuse or violence. You have the right to decide who touches your body and how they do it 

Plus, it’s not a bad idea to know how to avoid getting hit or how to escape when you’re grabbed. Then you’ll be prepared no matter how your Valentine’s Day turns out.

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